A woman walks into a bar and asks for an entendre, and make it a double. So he 'gave it to her'.
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
-Two. One to hold the giraffes and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.
Supreme grand master and extremely long time ruler of hyperbole.
(This one is golden. Gets me every single time)
How many Existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
-Two. One to change the bulb and one to observe how the light bulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness.
'We have had information from Bonaparte' 'Napolean Bonaparte?' 'No. Ivan Bonaparte. He is of no relation, but very high up in the ministry'.
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.
(Which isn't really a joke, more a piece of serious and valuable advice to take on. Still, it can cause quite a chuckle in the right situations, those situations being completely dragon-free, of course)
How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?
-None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
I'm thinking of writing a masterpiece novel about a giant whale. I'd name it Lobi Mick, and the worlds intelligentsia will froth over it.
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