Our Brother

'I can never sleep when I go back home', he said, 'The dishwasher sound like someone is always walking up the stairs. Thud, thud, thud. A perpetual thud, thudding. It drives me mad'.

I always thought he was a light sleeper. He could hear our sister writing, her felt-tip pen scratching on paper from the other end of the house.
He loved to watch her write. He would sit for hours in the same room as her, pretending to read, but all the time silently staring, transfixed, at her.

I think he was so amazed to watch someone become so absorbed by their fantasy world yet still function intelligently in the world of here and now.
Sometimes it was if he saw the worlds she wrote about, dancing about her head, and that's why he was always so entranced by watching her write.
After he left my sister said it felt odd to write now.

'Something's been lost, and I just can't pick it', her grey eyes glossing over like they did when she would search her mind for something important, 'they just don't have the life they used to have. Like something in my mind has lost some vital aspect.'
I wondered if I should tell her about our brother. I saw the brokenness in her gaze and thought better of it.

When we go back home now we always eat dinner in front of the t.v. Even if nothing is on, and it's on mute. even if the television is off. I think my mother just couldn't bear to see the empty seat that would have usually seated my brother.

He used to carry my books home from school. He told me once that they helped him get muscles and girls.
That summertime I was amazed to see his girlfriend and him at the creek on afternoon. No one had told me about the side effects of meeting the girl of your dreams, I just thought my books had been some mighty hard work.
He told that girl he would one day marry her, and after searing every part of the earth for her, kept his word. As he lent in to kiss her he whispered 'Told you I would.'

I missed the birth of their first child, following my brother's footsteps though India, seeking the adventure that had so easily found him. I arrived to find their child hadn't missed my name, the crinkle eyed smile was duplicated, and I finally felt at home.