In everything

...

I know you said it once, twice, a thousand times. In all the places of all the lives that we've lived, you said it. In every room I've ever been in. In every place I've ever opened my eyes, in the places I've fallen asleep.

In the history of us you said it. In the history of everyone that came before me, kings, queens and beggars, you said it. To each as you say it to me.

Over the ages you sang it to me. And at the moment when you lit up the world, knowing that by it I would see, you declared your love for me.

And sometimes despite the light you gave, I still struggle to see you. Though I know you're there, calling out to me.

So I search. I'll search all my life for every moment, every whisper you spoke, knowing that one day it would come to me. In the rising of the sun, in the fire that blazes the clouds from the setting sun. In the way you did things because you knew that I'd like them. In the dappled light that dances on forest floors, in our countless cups of tea. In pauses, commas, full stops. In the times we have with friends, In the crashing of waves, heavy and joyful on the shoreline. In the pattern the rain makes as it falls boldly on a parched and thirsty land. In the dark rim of eyelashes as I sleep, in the way your hand lingers over mine as I whisper goodbye, yet again. In the moments of silence we have, in the creases of elbows, grazes on knees. In the mountains that come crashing into the sea, in the clear night skies, in the movement of the stars. In the embrace you give me, holding me fast, when I come running back to your door. In the memory of you, holding fast to the tree on the hill, for me. In our laughter, in our tears.

But still, all the while I'll search for the whispers. I've known your shouts for longer than I've known myself, but it's in your whispers, the quiet declarations of your love, that I see you the most.

And in these places, I find you. 

...