Lame jokes I make, and actually find funny, part 1

You rock, like a volcano.

A guy once gave a girl a fake bloody ear in a box with a note, 'Will you Gogh to the prom with me?'

Friends don't let friends eat lizards.

Is there anyone on the john, Milton?

You count...ry music loving lady!

May the fourth be with you.

I always get my name and 'Party' mixed up.

I just got this film and I'm going to watch it so good, it will tell all it's friends about how awesome I am.

Mayonnaise made me the man I am today.

'How much is an Eminem?' '50 cent.' 'What? That's Ludacris!'

You are wanted by the fish police on suspicion of owning an illegal mermaid brothel.

This italics bit is because this isn't one of my witty and ridiculously funny one liners, it's just something lame super cool that I find funny. I'm writing something which could turn out to be a novel, or a mess, and I have a character who is dead before we come along. He is the city architect named William H. Robin. I introduce William H. Robin's son, as such, and end up laughing histerically at my covert reference to my favorite illustrator. Bam. 



Some of these I've made up on the spot, and proceeded to almost die laughing at them, whilst others I've heard from somewhere else and used them, much to peoples dismay. Yes, I use all of these. And more.